This is bound to be one of the best movies ever that has sat languishing on a shelf for many years before foisted on an unsuspecting public. Bring it on…finally!
Rating: 5 / 5

Despite the brain-dead liberalism of The Onion writers

and editors, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the satire that they

have produced over the years.

I can only suppose that The O hasn’t done more with (and to)

Obama because (a) they share an initial or (b) there is nothing

funny about what he’s doing to America.

Sadly, there is not much funny about The Onion movie, either.

It goes off like a string of wet firecrackers (unlit); there

is no structure, there is much lameness. It goes nowhere with ex-

crutiating slowness. Films like The Groove Tube and Kentucky

Fried Movie, cheesy, frequently stupid and uneven as they

were, at least had some energy. The Onion Movie is dead in

the water. It looks like the kind of inane and sodden mess that

its writers and “director” might make fifty years from now in

the Old Satirist’s home when they hearken back to how funny they

were.

Whole sections are shockingly tired and trite: a TV ad for a gay-

themed cruise line; a news report on an Alzheimer victims rally;

and others so pointless and dumb you might you wish you had

Alzheimer’s to forget them.

Then there’s the endless repetition of The Onion logo which makes

the sad enterprise seem like nothing more than shameless

commercial for the REAL Onion (or was that some species of

irony lost on this viewer?)

The movie never should have been made. The Onion itself is sui

generis as all of its many and dreadful imitators have shown.

But The Onion editors like to preen themselves on how much smarter

they are than everyone else. (To which claim the best answer

is a familiar two-word oath).

Such an attitude requires the question: how smart DO you have

to be to make a movie this thoroughly rotten?
Rating: 1 / 5